Kevin was a gift to the universe. I am so sad he is gone, I doubt this wound will ever heal but that's okay. I am so grateful for him. I am so grateful for his life, for his love, for his being. I remain awed by the mere fact that he loved me.
He died holding my hand. The last words he said were to tell me he loves me. I have never been more connected to another human being. I doubt I ever will be. In his last days Kevin was surrounded by people who love him. Frankly, I can't imagine a more graceful or holy way to go. While I hate that this happened, I am so glad he was able to make his peace, so glad he was able to be present with his kids, so glad he knew how much he is loved.
Now I see Kevin everywhere. His energy remains in some form because energy can be neither created nor destroyed. I see him in the technology I use, in the media I consume, in the stories I tell. From time to time something happens that I can only explain as Kevin saying hello. He is in the air I breathe so I breath deeply so, when I remember, I close my eyes and feel the molecules of air that passed through his lungs enter mine. We are still connected as are all of you who love him so well.
Thank you all for accompanying me through this year. Writing has saved me again and again. More than that, knowing you are reading what I've written means that I feel less alone. I remember that I have a voice and that maybe I have something useful to say. I wouldn't have made it through without you.
Kevin, thank you.
I love you. I always will, as you will always love me.
(c)2015 Laura S. Packer