Wednesday, November 3, 2010

One year ago today

My friend and mentor, Brother Blue, died a year ago today. I'm not really sure what to say, beyond this:

Blue, I miss you.

Thank you for the gift of your stories, of your spirit, of your willingness to be a fool for story and love and life. Thank you for your bravery in the face of unbearable and unspoken odds. Thank you for remembering over and over and over again to be kind when it would have been so easy to be cruel.

Thank you so much for every gift you gave us, the recognized gifts and the unrecognized. Thank you for loving me when I felt unlovable, being honest with me and reminding me to be who I am even when it seems impossible.

Thank you for teaching us so much about love. Thank you for showing us what enduring love looks like.

The night you died I looked at the love of my own life and said to him, "We are so lucky." Even as I cried and continue to cry I know how lucky I am to have had you in my life, to have had you call me your baby girl, to have had the gift of your presence for so many years.

We are all so lucky to have had you. Thank you.

I will love you forever and ever and ever, aaahhhhh....

(c)2010 Laura S. Packer Creative Commons License


  1. Time lessens the ache, love grows stronger still as from the shore we row, I wave to you, Blue, I wave to you Laura, sorrow and joy mingle in bittersweet memory, as the holy fool I smile a smile for Blue. Love, Tony T

  2. Laura,
    Thanks so much for your words - your opening to the grief after someone who lives IN us dies. You grieve Blue like I grieve my dad. It's ongoing. It's raw and yet it is beautiful because it resonates colorfully within us. It's sad to miss Blue, sure, but it's a glorious gift, a thank you, that will live in us forever. Thanks for speaking that for all of us who know that kind of grief.

    As for Blue, I only saw him when I came your way (and once for two weeks in S. Africa!) or on the streets of J'boro. But, yes, he touched my life and work immensely. The way he honored my tales, the way he made a place where I could feel safe going right out to the edge. I still have a giant sized Blue looking down at me and smiling and believing in me when I forget to believe in myself. He reminds me it's my job to BE BLUE in my own world, in my interactions with other artists - to open my ears wide and my heart even wider and see what IS there and what WANTS to be there. Not for what isn't. The critics can handle that. My job is to savor and nurture and be vocal in my AHHHHHH! BIG HUG!

  3. Laura,
    From the middle of the middle of me to the middle of the middle of you (((HUGS)))


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