Friday, October 7, 2016

Reading grief, reading life

Someone asked me recently where I found refuge in the difficult times in my life. My first response was not what he expected, but it was the most honest one I could give. "Books," I said, "I found solace, refuge and safety in books."

It is my hope that I will eventually write a book about Kevin, our love, his loss, my grief and transformation. I'd like to start with the blog posts I've written that you have all so kindly read, then add onto it. I'm not there yet, but I would like to do this. I hope it might help others. I hope it may be a solace, a refuge and a safe place to know they are not alone.

As I'm thinking about this more and more, I've started doing some research into memoirs about love, loss and transformation. I've read quite a few, including:

What I have gathered from all of these (and this is no surprise) is that grief is universal, constant, similar and utterly unique. I have learned that I am not the only who has found solace in writing and shared my beloved and my emptiness with unknown readers. I am responding to a basic human drive and I do not regret it.

I have said hundreds of times that if we are lucky we will love and if we love we will grieve. I would not undo my love for Kevin if it meant that I would be spared the pain.

I'm wondering what you may have read that resonated with you. I'd love to know. And I am so grateful that you are sharing my journey.

(c)2016 Laura S. Packer Creative Commons License


  1. It would be wonderful if you decide to write that book........I know it would help everyone that reads it. It has been a while but "Refuge" by Terry Tempest Williams moved me.

    1. I'm taking a memoir class next month so I can start to think about how to structure it!

  2. wow! I feel like Im reading my own journal right now! I feel the very same way since i lost the love of my life. I have drowned myself in books and will be going through the ones you listed to get my next. I blog in hopes of writing a book some day.. or maybe just a blog.. but something others can relate to. I dont know how i would structure it or which topic to focus on. Love and loss, with our story. or things that will completely tear you down in life and overcoming. I just feel like i need to connect with others and give back somehow. I will be following you now and will be very interested in reading your book when you get there!


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