50 for 50, day 12: Mistakes

I had the best post planned for today. I've done a few posts in the past where I share photos I've taken so you can see the world through my eyes. I like those because they break up the walls of text I tend towards and they help me see my own photography in a new light.

That was what I was going to do.

I spent yesterday at the arboretum and it was one of those crystal clear autumn days. I took pictures of butterflies, of shadows on petals, of textures, all kinds of things. In the last few months I went to the Minnesota State Fair, saw some neat birds, had some other adventures, and all of it was captured in my camera. I was excited about sharing them with you.

I got home and transferred everything to my photo storage drive and started sorting through them, picking out the best ones. I put the memory card back in my camera and erased it, so I'd have plenty of room for the next round of photos.

You know what I was going to do.
And you know what I did.

I failed to transfer the images from yesterday, maybe 300 pictures, and I didn't notice. I erased the card. They are gone. I still have some of the others, but those fleeting colors and shadows? Lost. It rained last night. Even were I to go back to the arboretum, those blooms are likely gone.

I. Am. SO. Annoyed. It was a stupid mistake and made me stomp around like a three year old. I didn't sleep well because of it and have been gnawing on it ever since.

All things considered, I've made worse mistakes, but this rankles. They all do, don't they. Mistakes. And we all make them. Some are minor and easy to forget, others are catastrophic. On the grand scale of things, this isn't that big a deal though it is disappointing.

As I've grown older I've started trying to welcome mistakes or at least acknowledge them as part of the work of living. I make mistakes all the time, most less irksome than this one. I try to think of mistakes as evidence that I'm still trying new things, still learning. This one, of course, is evidence of carelessness because I thought I knew what I was doing and I've learned from it, but they aren't all like that. I'm not trying to say it feels good, making a mistake, nor am I suggesting that some aren't truly horrific but... we all do it. We may as well learn to live with it.

If we stop making mistakes we have ceased acting. Mistakes are inevitable. All we can do is try to learn from them, not beat ourselves up too much, apologize as necessary, and keep moving on so we can make more mistakes.

I'm trying to do all of that. I still wish I had those photos to share with you though.

This is what 50 looks like. Still screwing up. Still trying again. Fail again, fail better.

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