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No, I'm not confused, I don't think this is the midpoint in the 50 for 50 series. I'm instead referring to today's autumnal equinox, that pause between a world in light and a world in darkness. In our busy world full of artificial light it can be hard to notice, but it was here. I promise. Watch, the nights will soon feel very long. The yearning morning light won't find it's way to the full brightness of noon, and will instead tumble to the long fingers of evening shadow. I've written about this before in the context of storytelling. If you're interested you can go here.
I am bouncing back and forth between thinking of 50 as the midpoint of my life (because of the nicety of how our numerical system work, the half of one hundred feels like the middle) and the knowledge that I am actually in my later years. I have more behind me than in front, yet I don't really feel as if I've passed my own personal equinox.
I started this series by talking about how I don't feel like a grown up. I really don't. I feel middle-aged in my body but not in my spirit. How can I really be past the middle? I don't know.
I do know that the months immediately following the autumnal equinox are my favorites. I love autumn. The aromas, the colors, the feel in the air, all of it is when I feel most alive and most productive, so I am hoping that my own post-equinox time will have a parallel to it. One way or another, I will find out.
This is what 50 looks like. Achey, a little tired, but excited to see what comes.
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