Seven things to do with storytelling when you don't want to go outside

This was originally written during a cold 2011 New England winter, but it seems strikingly relevant now, when we are all washing our hands a million times a day and tracking COVID-19 as it moves closer and closer to our communities.

The world seems like it was so much simpler then. 

I've kept the original context for historical reasons and have added a few more thoughts. 

We're deep in the heart of winter, up here in the Northern hemisphere. These short, cold days and long dark nights lead me to nesting behavior. I just don't want to go outside when it's 10F with 2 feet of snow on the ground. I know, I'm a wimp, but this offers me a chance to hunker down and do some reading.

It's been awhile since I posted storytelling resources. I'm betting some of you are like me, having a tough time getting outside in this weather. In the spirit of keeping our creative fires burning, here are some storytelling things you might do from the comfort of your home. Please note, some of these links were previously posted here, but this is an updated list.

1. Learn something new, part 1. How about adding a traditional tale to your repertoire? If nothing else, reading some of the old stories will remind of you that people haven't changed very much in the last 10,000 years. The same things still matter to us, it's just at a more frantic pace. You might learn something about yourself or find a piece you'd like to tell or alter, you might even find some comfort in knowing people have made it through tough times before now.
   There are many great online resources full of traditional stories.
   
• Sur la Lune is a lovely site with detailed analysis of some familiar (and less familiar) fairy tales. Also links to a store with merchandise for folktale nerds like me.
• Folklore and Mythology Electronic Texts has a fairly academic and thorough listing of hundreds of story texts. 
• The Internet Sacred Text Archive includes myths and legends from around the world. 
• Google books has complete texts available you can find with a simple search. Looking for fairy tales? How about Indian fairy tales? Or Hindu fairy tales?  Give it shot, see what you find. You might be surprised. Karen Chace's wonderful blog has many great resources, including this list of fairy tale books on google books. 
• Check out Csenge Zalka's amazing blog, The Multicolored Diary, for some wonderful world stories. 
2. Learn something new, part 2. 
• What about a personal story? Or some fiction? Try a genre that you don't usually engage in, or try telling in a style new to you.
• Explore the resources at your local library. Most public libraries have their catalogs available online. Many will allow you to hold a book that you can pick up later, when it's warmer and many have vast digital holdings that you can access without going outside. Try a catalog search for storytelling with children, for example. Or some other topic that interests you. See what you can find!
• Learn about a new kind of storytelling. As I mentioned last week, it's sometimes good to tell the stories that scare you. Check out the site for an organization that does something you'd like to tell about. Do you care about marine life? Go to the Cousteau Society and see how they tell their story. How would you tell that same story? What about digital storytelling? Or stand-up comedy?
• Read an article by someone you admire. Many storytellers maintain blogs or archives of their advice. Go to their websites and poke around. 
• Try some new kind of art. Maybe you could write a poem, do a collage, or something else to nourish your creative spirit.
3. Listen to some stories, watch some storytellers in action. Organizations like massmouth post videos of storytellers strutting their stuff. What about trying a youtube search for storytelling? Maybe your favorite festival has videos online from previous years?
4. Work with a coach to dig deeper. Many coaches, myself included, work via Zoom, Skype, Hangouts, or others video conferencing technologies. None of us need to go through creatively challenging times alone, help is out there at the click of a mouse.
5. Hone your craft. There's no time like the present to work on your own skills as a storyteller and business owner.
• How about telling a story in your living room, recording it and then going over the recording? What was great? What could be eliminated or fleshed out?
• Work on a new idea. Jot down some notes, call a friend and aks them to brainstorm with you.
• When was the last time you updated your webpage, resume, facebook or linkedin pages?
• Send a few emails to organizations where you'd like to tell.
• Update your basic press release.
6. Tell someone a story. Do you live with room-mates, family, friends? Do you have a telephone or an internet connection? You can always reach out and tell someone a story. Maybe even more importantly, you can listen to their story. Ask them to tell you a story. You might be amazed at what happens.
7. Join the Virtual Storytelling Guild. You can share stories from the comfort of your own home, listen to others tell in real time, and share the fire of storytelling, all through video-conference. 

These challenging days are also a gift. We have the chance to pull into our shells and do some housekeeping, catch up with ourselves. Savor the time.

(c)2011 and 2020 Laura S. Packer

Birthdays, gratitude and life after death

Today is my 48th birthday. I don't feel anywhere near that old, I scarcely think of myself as a grown-up, yet when I look in the mirror I see a woman (not a girl) with smile lines and lots of grey hair. I have considerably more grey hair now than I did at this time last year and even more than the year before.

As you know, if this blog is not new to you, my life has had some significant ups and downs in the last few years. For most of my life I've written lists on my birthday, things I am grateful for, one for each year of my life. The last two years I didn't write lists. Two years ago I was sick and last year I was grieving too deeply. It's time to revive the tradition. Gratitude is part of learning to live in the after-life and so I will take this chance to remember to be grateful.

On this, the 48th anniversary of my birth, I am grateful for many things. Some I am simultaneously deeply resentful of, but they are all worth mentioning. This list is by no means complete and I'd love to know what you are grateful for!

1. Life. For the life I am living in spite of the pain and sorrow. It is good to be alive, to feel the breeze, smell the autumn leaves, to treasure each moment.
2. Kevin's life. And love. And support and faith and so on.
3. You. Every single reader of this blog has helped me keep going when things were at their darkest.
4. My parents. We've had a bumpy ride sometimes, but I find myself with staunch allies and loving support.
5. My step-children and child-in-law, whom I love and am proud of beyond measure. Thank you for keeping me around.
6. My friends near and far, without whom I would not have survived the last 22 months. 
7. My new love, who has such a big heart that there is plenty of room for my old love as well, and yet this new relationship is its own beast, for which I am grateful beyond words.
8. Social media. Facebook means there is always someone to talk with.
9. Storytelling. The art and craft of it gives me voice.
10. And likewise, writing.
11. This blog, which gives me a platform.
12. Every audience.
13. Every coaching client.
14. Everyone who has believed in my ability to create something worthwhile and has held me up when I couldn't do so myself.
15. Quiet. And music.
16. Good books. And bad books that give me comfort.
17. Stories, the way we understand our selves and our lives.
18. Fairy tales and myths, because they have so much to teach us.
19. Crazy Jane.
20. Coyote.
21. The things I have learned by shutting up and listening. The times I have been listened to.
22. The strength in my own body.
23. My senses, even as some begin to waver.
24. My home. I love my home.
25. My car.
26. A fiscal safety net.
27. The sounds of the world - wind in trees, rain, waves, laughter, kids playing, etc etc.
28. The porch swing on my front porch.
29. My neighbors and landlord.
30. My own resilience. I never knew I could be this strong and flexible.
31. And so the circumstances that have led to my being this resilient, as crappy as they sometimes have been.
32. Grief. I have learned so much by embracing grief.
33. Poetry.
34. My camera.
35. Trees and rivers and birds and grasses and flowers and the soil and the whole of the natural world in all its harshness and beauty.
36. Wonder.
37. Play.
38. Every act of kindness I have experienced, even when I didn't recognize it as such in the moment.
39. Tea.
40. Dumplings.
41. Soup.
42. Chocolate. And other yummy things.
43. Time.
44. Touch.
45. Mindfulness.
46. Connection.
47. Love. and love. and love.
48. Life. Always and forever. I am grateful for every fleeting moment. I would not undo my life.

I could add so many more. Thank you for reading this list and for being in my life in whatever capacity that may be. May we all have years filled with light.

(c)2015 Laura S. Packer

Eight things I've learned in the last 14 months

A year ago today I got in my car in Boston and began driving to Kansas City. A year and two days ago, I got married. A year and a month ago I gave notice at a job I'd held for 12 years. A year and two months ago my love and I decided to throw our lives up in the air and see what happened.

It's been a wild ride.

I don't regret the choices we made. We decided to leave Boston and come to KC for good reasons. Over the past year we've learned so much about ourselves, our world and our place in it. Here are a few of those lessons.

1. It's impossible to drive alone. I get a lot of surprised looks when people find out I drove from Boston to KC by myself. For one, I like long drives, they give me time to think. And for another, I wasn't alone. While I was the only human in that car for three days, I carried with me memories, imaginary friends and one guinea pig in a carrying case beside me. When your passenger is continually demanding carrots, you know you're not alone.
2. A companion helps. While it's had its challenges, this year would have been immeasurably harder had Kevin Brooks not been by my side. Not a sidekick, not supporting character, not the hero waiting for me to come along, but companion.
3. Don't deny the feelings. In the past year I have grieved a place, a community, a way of life. I've fallen in love with a new place and a new life. I've been confused, frustrated, elated and more. Living the big life means you feel your feelings and accept that even the best and worst will change.
4. Shit happens. You can figure it out. Two days before I drove to KC, leaving all I knew in Boston behind, and the morning of our wedding, Kevin and I lost the house we were planning to live in. We were without a home. And we figured it out. We figured out so many things this year, alone and together. Take a deep breath. Even if it's bad, you can find a way through.
5. Pfft. Who needs maps? Get lost once in awhile. I've discovered some great parts of Kansas City by turning off my GPS and just exploring.
6. Don't be afraid to be alone. I have had more solitary time this year than ever before. It's been wonderful. I've learned how I work, how I play, how to balance the two and who I am when no one is looking. The time spent in the car with only ghosts and a guinea pig for company helped me launch into this new adventure with a clearer mind. Every day, I have a chance to check in and see who I am today.
7. Given a chance, people are generally kind. Sure, there are assholes. But most people, most of the time, default to benign disinterest. If you ask for help, they fall in love with the idea of being useful. Give them the opportunity to be kind. From the waitress in the Huddle House to the desk clerk somewhere in Indiana, people were kind to me for the whole drive. They've been kind here, too. I am grateful.
8. When adventure calls, say yes. Every hero's journey starts with the call to adventure. It's very easy to pretend we don't hear it, amidst our comfortable homes and technology and routine. This year has helped me remember that saying yes to adventure, while difficult sometimes, can't help but be rewarding. Give it a shot. Who knows, at a minimum you'll end up with stories to tell.

(c)2014 Laura S. Packer

Five things I think about through the long night

I’ve had an insidious cold for the last week, full of the usual sneezing and sniffling, but with an additional determined cough. I’ve been coughing enough that my ribs and abdominal muscles are sore. Yuck. What’s more, the cough gets worse at night, therefore falling asleep is a careful dance between becoming comfortable and remaining still, so I don’t trigger another coughing fit. You know all about this kind of thing, having suffered colds yourself.

What’s been interesting in this sleeplessness is that I’m not experiencing my usual frustration with insomnia; reading about second sleep has helped tremendously. I know I’ll fall asleep soon enough. Instead I’m taking this as an opportunity to let my mind wander and it’s going to some interesting places. Here are some of the things I’ve been considering in the middle of the might while I wait for sleep to conquer the cough.

5. The next thing I will write in NaNoWriMo. In the past I’ve had insomnia worrying about this month long writing event, but lately I’ve just been imagining my characters in new ways. I never knew fire sprites looked so fetching in Hawaiian shirts.  

4. What animal does my beloved sound like tonight? You might say he snores. I’d say he does a stunning sleep rendition of a purring tiger. Or a content capybara. Or maybe a distant revving motorcycle, preparing to propel its rider over the Grand Canyon or a Martian canal. 

3. Imagining places I’d like to go but am unlikely to get to. I shift through time and space, exploring the library of Alexandria. I dance in a ball at Pemberly. I walk through the bazaars on the Silk Road. 

2. I listen to my heartbeat and imagine music surrounding it. 

1. Lastly, and mot importantly, zombie fortification. How could I make my home safe from a zombie attack? I considered this quite seriously for a long time last night. My conclusion was that I was probably doomed.

And then I finally fell asleep, dreaming of the undead fiddling with lock picks and dropping their fingers. Ah, insomnia, bringer of strange dreams and stranger reveries. 

(c)2013 Laura S. Packer

Hot times - 10 ways to cool off in the heat of the summer

Here in Kansas City it's hot. Really hot. Close to 100F during the day and not much below 80 at night. My sweetie loves it, he is an efficient sweater (both kinds - he sweats well in the heat and is cozy in the cold) but I am not. I just turn red and get uncomfortable.

In an effort to stay cool I've come up with some creative ways to tone down the heat. Use these at your own risk, some are untested.

10. Eat more fruit. Summer is the season for fruit, so enjoy those watermelons, peaches, nectarines, plums and more while you can. Your body will appreciate the liquid, your mouth the taste and your lover the site of that juice running off your chin.

9. After you've eaten it, wear it. China is in the midst of a terrific heat wave and some parents are coming up with unusual ways to cool their kids down. I think a watermelon helmet is pretty damned exciting.

8. Use new words. Hot? Try tropical. Humid? How about sultry. Sweaty? Maybe you're delightfully damp instead.

7. Pretend you're on vacation. I bet many of you paid good money to go someplace close to this hot. Put on a bathing suit, stick your feet in a bucket and listen to some Calypso music. Maybe have a drink with an umbrella in it.

6. Explore nudism. Why wear clothing in the house? Just be careful if you sit on something smooth, the butt pull when you stand up can be uncomfortable. And if your neighbors complain just tell them it's value added - they probably download stuff like this when no one's looking.

5. Put on a big floppy hat, enormous sunglasses and carry a water bottle. Pretend you're avoiding the paparazzi. Deny all requests for autographs. Pretend your fan is a hair fan for your photo shoot.

4. Consider sweating a mini-ecosystem. You are no longer a body, but the water cycle. You drink water, sweat it out like rain and drink more. Think of all the possibilities for life you are creating.

3. Tell winter stories, remember the need for cocoa and crackling fires. Evoke the chill in your imagination and then welcome the heat.

2. Experiment with winter sports in the summer. Can you ski on grass? What about snow-shoeing on sand? Give it a shot!

1. Stop whining and enjoy it. In a few months you'll be complaining about the cold and wishing it was summer again. Use this as a moment for mindful living in the present. And anyway, it could be worse. Given climate change, next year it probably will be.

(c)2013 Laura S. Packer

Another trip around the sun

Today is my birthday. I love birthdays, mine and others. I think they offer us a wonderful (albeit arbitrary) reminder that our lives our fleeting, our connections precious, the world extraordinary and our selves unique. They give us an excuse to celebrate our existence.

As I have in past years (you can look at other Octobers) I'd like to offer you things I know or am grateful for, one for each year of my life. Really, these are things I need to remind myself of on a regular basis.

This is also my fifth birthday post, the fifth birthday of this blog. So happy birthday, world, thank you for reading me for five years. It's nice to be in kindergarten with you.

1. You. Whether I know you or not, thank you for being in this world, for your breath, your story, your kindnesses and your song.
2. Assume kindness first. Both in yourself and others. Yes, you risk being hurt, but you may also be wondrously surprised. I once heard amazing stories from a man who stole $200 from me. Looking back it was worth it. He probably needed the money more than I did, and I know I needed those tales.
3. I am grateful for those times when I remember to be kind to myself.
4. So please, be kind to your self.
5. I am grateful for the natural world, for its beauty and power and the fact that we still have yet to entirely rule it. 
6. Everyone, humans included, needs something bigger than themselves, be it god(s), storms, science or love. Be grateful for these reminders especially when you emerge from them altered but unscathed. I may change my mind about this, based on the coming storm, but to date I have found this to be true. 
7. And if those big things do scathe you then ask yourself why, how, what you might do differently next time.
8. Be like the palm. Bend in the wind before you break. Be resilient.
9. I am grateful for good food shared with those I love. 
10. Conversation.
11. Oh, I love listening to the world around me. To stories, to strangers, to random sounds. Listen more.
12. Take time alone. We each have different needs for alone time, but we all need it. I love alone time. 
13. I love alone time in part because it makes me that much more grateful for shared time.
14. Work hard at whatever you're doing, even if it's a task you'd rather avoid. If nothing else, you'll end it sooner. But don't be half-assed.
15. Play. I am so grateful for play, for my inner five year old who sees the world as full of wonder and giggles and still believes in the tooth fairy. 
16. Be a good loser.
17. Be a better winner.
18. Feel your feelings. I am grateful to them all and have found the hard ones are easier if I let myself feel them.
19. I am grateful for the mistakes I have made. And moreso for the times when I have learned from them.
20. Read. I love reading and sometimes let other things get in the way. Let written language take you away.  If you usually read fiction try some non-fiction. And if non-fiction is your love, try something fantastical.
21. Tell more stories. Listen to more. Make music, even if you don't sing well. And listen to more music, especially music outside your comfort zone.
22. Accept love. I am so grateful for all the people who have loved me.
23. And accept like! Being liked is distinct from being loved, so thank you!
24. Be likable.
25. But don't be afraid to be unlikable if you have something to stand up for. A wise woman once said to me I think a day when I haven't pissed someone off just wasn't a very a good day. She's right. Care about the world. Care about what you do. Care about yourself. Don't be afraid to piss someone off.
26. Stop for pedestrians. Even if they aren't in the crosswalk.
27. Learn to stop in general. I am grateful for my intermittent meditation practice. Find a way to stop and let the world move around you.
28. I am grateful you've made it this far! It's a long list and getting longer each year.
29. I am grateful to those who have gone before me. Thank you for your work, sacrifice, love, humor, determination.
30. I am grateful to those who will come after me. I can't wait to see what you will make of the world and, knowing I won't be here, excited to think that you will see more than I ever will.
31. Take time to notice your other senses. Smell the air. Touch things (even if you get into trouble sometimes, say, in museums). Close your eyes and listen. Really look at one thing. Taste with abandon. Be a sensualist.
32. I am grateful for people doing the best they can, even when it may not be enough.
33. And in turn, do the best you can, even if it's only a little bit.
34. I love bad jokes. If you know any, I'd love to hear them!
35. By the time I was 35, I was 9 years cancer free. I am so grateful that it hasn't come back.
36. I am grateful for my body. Even with its aches and pains, I am grateful for my joints, my muscles and organs, my ligaments and skin, every part.
37. Don't be afraid to be foolish. I never would have become a storyteller if I was afraid of being foolish sometimes.
38. Let the people you love know. Don't wait.
39. Don't lie about your age. Embrace each of your years as earned.
40. Learn new things, regardless of your age. I have a friend, near 90, who has fallen in love with the band Queen.
41. Recognize that there will be things that confuse and frustrate you, especially about other people. You can't change them. Accept that this is the way it is and try to at least be amused.
42. Don't be afraid to touch people when you hug them. So do it, hug more.
43. Love yourself.
44. Love the world.
45. Do it again.

Thanks for coming along on this ride with me.

p.s. This is me giving my Uncle Meyer a kiss when I was maybe 4. He died over a decade ago. I still love him and I'm so glad he knew how much I loved him.

(c)2012 Laura S. Packer

Not my resolutions, but...

I'm not a big fan of New Year's resolutions. I try to live my life with intent, so try not to need to resolve at the new year - it seems to be setting myself up for failure.

That being said, I love this list of New Year's resolutions from Woody Guthrie. I think I could add a few of these to my "how to live" list. Thanks to boingboing for posting this.

Do you do resolutions? Are there any you'd like to share?

(c)2011 Laura S. Packer

World Book Day

Today is World Book Day as designated by UNESCO. It's another one of those cool international celebrations that doesn't get much play in the U.S. To celebrate I've listed below five books that changed my life (it's hard to pick only five).

• The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery
  
• The Fairy Tale series by Andrew Lang, including The Red Fairy Book (I know, this is cheating since it's a series).
• Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo
• The History of Love by Nicole Krauss

This is by no means a list of the books that have influenced me above all others, just some of those that have helped shape who I am as a reader, a writer, a teller, a person.

What books have changed you? What stories have shaped how you see the world, how you write and what you tell, how you live?

(c)2011 Laura S. Packer

A birthday list

Today is my birthday. I am an utter fool for birthdays, believing that it's important to move through the world with joy, so taking one day a year to celebrate your own existence is a worthwhile endeavor.


This year, as in other years, on my birthday I'm writing a list of things I am grateful for, one for each year of my life. This year I was moved towards a simpler list, though I think it is no less meaningful; this may be in part because I didn't want to repeat myself too much as those previous lists are still quite valid. In any case, I hope some of these resonate with you.


Thank you world.

1. Love. The opportunity to love and be loved.
2. And like! Distinct and important.
3. And dislike too - the chance to be an adult and work it through.
4. Mistakes. The chance to try again.
5. Taking the last walk with Brother Blue.
6. The sound of wind in trees.
7. The scent of the ocean.
8. The taste and comfort of Red Label tea with milk and honey.
9. The feel of my lover's skin. 
10. Hugging and being hugged.
11. The myriad shapes of clouds.
12. Writing. 
13. Reading.
14. Music. 
15. Especially the Beatles.
16. The occasional wisdom to take the next breath.
17. Kind strangers.
18. Overheard conversations.
19. Trees. And other plants, fungi, lichens. The slow, growing things of the world.
20. Animals. Mammals, fish, insects, all living things. Even mosquitoes who have their place in the world.
21. Good cries.
22. Well-told stories. Both hearing and telling.
23. Museums and the arts in general.
24. Being heard.
25. Wild acts of hope and guerrilla art.
26. Wild places that I will never see.
27. Languages I will never know.
28. Laughing until I can't breath.
29. The opportunity to help others.
30. Working at a problem until I solve it.
31. Or until I ask for help.
32. Forgiveness.
33. Creativity and creation. 
34. Trying and failing and trying again.
35. Work. Financial security.
36. Completing things.
37. My home. 
38. Playing. Kites. Toys. 
39. Cooking.
40. Naps.
41. The sound of my own breath - at night, underwater through SCUBA, in this moment.
42. My body.
43. Life. I am so grateful for this life.

And one for the years to come - I am grateful for you, for the connections I have in this world. Thank you.

Oh, and yes, the little girl at the top of this post is me. I don't know, have I changed that much?

(c)2010 Laura S. Packer

List: Worse times than the present

As you may recall, I've become enamored with Curious Lists: A Creative Journal for List-Lovers, a delightful compendium of suggestions for lists. I love lists in general and find them to be not only a great way to organize my life but a wonderful creative trigger. Today I opened to worse times than the present which seems fitting, considering all of the furor you can read in the news on any given day. So, let us consider:

• The US during the McCarthy hearings. Shh, be careful of what you say, who you spend time with. You don't know who might be paying attention.
• And heck, let's not forget the Cultural Revolution, Nazi era Germany, the Rwandan genocide, the genocide of Native Americans, slavery, apartheid and on and on.
• London, during the Plague. Heck, any European city during the Plague.
• The Cretaceous Period. Come on, who really wants to be chased by dinosaurs?
• The various dystopias predicted by Margaret Atwood, Ray Bradbury, Anthony Burgess, Octavia Butler, Terry Gilliam, Aldous Huxley, George Orwell, and others. These are only the ones I can think of off the top of my head and they all terrify me.
• Your worst birthday ever. 
• Your worst break-up. 
• When the dog died.

Alright, so this is a pretty dour list. Does it serve a purpose? I think so. In writing it, I was forced back into a healthier perspective. Things could be worse both politically and personally. I am very lucky that I'm not poor, living as an oppressed person or a voiceless one. Which leads to the most important thing I remembered while writing this list - I do have a voice. And I have a right to speak. Which alone makes this a pretty good time and place in which to live. 

It's just up to me to exercise that right.

(c)2010 Laura S. Packer

List: Large shoes

I've lately been dealing with plantar fasciitis. For those who may not know (lucky you!) this is a strain of the plantar fascia that run along the soles of your feet. It typically manifests as heel pain, I have pain along the entire sole of my left foot. I probably strained it exercising. Yay! Aging is fun! Actually, it is fun, far better than the alternative. And this will heal given time, care and shoes with adequate support (so much for strappy sandals) though it's uncomfortable and makes me cranky.

I decided to distract myself by opening up Curious Lists: A Creative Journal for List-Lovers so I could amuse myself and maybe someone else. The universe snickered. This is what I opened to.

Professions that require large shoes

Clown shoe model
Bug squisher
Grape squisher in streamlined factory setting (bigger shoes, more grapes squished)
Nursery rhyme architect, working with old women
Sadistic dance partner
Giant imitator
Large shoe manufacturer industrial spy
Michael Jordan impersonator
Professional butt kicker
Mermaid wanna-be
Misguided boat manufacturer

(c)2010 Laura S. Packer

Curious Lists

I love lists. I've written about this before, both how lists can help you understand yourself and figure things out and how lists can function in other ways, including as stories.

Lists can also help spark runs of creativity and break blocks. I'm having a great time playing with Curious Lists: A Creative Journal for List-Lovers and I bet you would too. It includes all kinds of prompts for lists, many of which you can interpret as either quite mundane or as permission for flights of fancy. It's broken into general topics and then specific lists.

Topics include:

• Lists for Tuesdays
• Lists for Bedtime
• Lists for Friends to Help With

and specifics within topics include:

• Gourds better for carving
• Elaborate schemes for avoiding a call
• Walkable cities
• Rattling objects

See what I mean? You can be pretty straightforward or go way out on a limb with these. I'm finding it quite inspirational and an awful lot of fun, so from time-to-time I'll post one of my lists here. I'd love to see your additions to my lists.


Nomadic Cultures (c) Curious Lists
An anthropological whimsy, by Miss Laura S. Packer, observed in her travels and over many pancake breakfasts.

The wandering shoes

• Usually bi-color
• Rarely in pairs, tribes of lefts or rights
• Found under beds, gone the next morning
• Coming of age rituals involve hunting dustbunnies

The lost hipster tribes

• Known for their cool silence and occasional witty sayings
• Artifacts include coffee cup sleeves, shed technological items, beard trimmings
• Sightings said to presage the opening of another Starbucks

Landbound fisherfolk

• Travel in landcruisers
• Native costume includes slightly too tight t-shirts from obscure tourist resorts
• Extensive mythology around lost objects nearly found
• Mating rituals include fire dances
• Mythology passed on around firepits, during ritual sacrifice of mallows found only in marshes

Hordes of traveling salesmen

• A questing horde, driven by religious fervor for “Deal”
• Wander from sales meeting to sales meeting
• Regarded w/ great fear by hospitality industry
• Known to be reckless and destructive in search of the elusive “Deal”
• Should one of the tribe rise above the rest in their quest they are sacrificed to “mammon-ment”

(c)2010 Laura S. Packer

Friday Flash: It has the subtle nuance of...

Please note: This isn't so much a piece of fiction as a set of possibilities. Thanks to Kevin Brooks for the conversation that sparked this piece of writing.

*  *  *

If wine descriptions were more like life

1. This wine clearly has long lasting legs, surprising in something this cheap. I'm getting something floral and rather overpowering, kind of like the perfume you came home reeking of last week. It doesn't last long, but then again neither do you, and it's quickly leaving a rather sticky aftertaste with overtones of cheap vodka and nervous sweat.
   
   
2. It has the subtle nuances of graveyard dirt with just a touch of the bitterness you experience when you discover you were written out of the will. A lingering dryness on the palate to remind you of just how bad a child you really were and  how lonely you will be when you get old.
   
   
3. Indescribable, like the memory of your favorite summer of childhood, this wine has a nose heavy on cotton candy and grass stains. Tasting rather like your first furtive high school gulp of  Boone's Strawberry Hill, it slides past your tongue and leaves a lingering sense of something wonderful on the palate with a repressed hint of something else better left forgotten.
   
   
4. I'm sorry, but I drank the whole bottle, so it's a little hard to pick out the subtle details on this one. Let's just say it goes down easy. Really easy. This wine slides down your throat like a $500 whore who, just when you're about done, hits you on the head and takes all your money. You wake up with a headache like you wouldn't believe and are horrified to realize you lost all your cash on something you can't even remember.
   
   
5. If you were ever lucky enough to taste this wine, you would know that it has the mouth feel of silk with overtones of the scent of sunlight on smooth skin and a hint of smoky gazes at midnight. If you ever had the opportunity to hold the glass up the light, you would see that it caresses the inside of the goblet like a haze of excess, each molecule of wine clinging to the surface as though the hard and soft are one living thing. If you were some one else you would know that the nose of this wine, and this wine alone, seeps into every pore like a humid night redolent with tropical flowers and the coming storms. But you never will be that lucky, will you. 

(c)2010 Laura S. Packer

A top 9 list

If you've been reading this blog for awhile you know I like lists. Lists help me think in a more organized fashion, something I often need help with. This time of year lists are everywhere. They're inescapable. The artificial close of the year drives the media to produce Top 10 lists on a near-infinite variety of topics.

I wanted to write a top-ten list for 2009, but I kept stumbling. The last couple of months have been hard, so it's challenging to think of the top ten books/moments/films/creative endeavors/etc for the past year. What I keep coming back to are the things that I didn't enjoy about 2009 and would like to do differently next year.

I don't believe in dwelling on past crappy stuff; it gives it too much power and energy in your current life. I certainly don't manage to do this all the time and recognize that sometimes your old stuff just keeps getting in the way, but naming it and then moving on can provide a path forward. In that spirit, I was going to present my top ten list of things I can avoid in 2010.

Writing this list was unexpectedly hard. While 2009 was tough I learned so much that I found it challenging to really come up with stuff I regret about the year. So this led me to the following, which I think is ultimately much more important. Try it yourself, you might be surprised.

Top 9 unexpected gifts of 2009

1. The written word. I have returned to writing this year with a passion I thought I had lost. In no small part I have this blog to thank for it.
2. The importance of self-care has been borne home quite dramatically. I really, really get it now. I'm working on it, though the question remains - how do I take better care of myself without stressing over it?
   
3. Silence. Sometimes being confronted with myself, with the ticking clock, with the hum of the world is the best possible thing.
   
4. The grace of a good death.
5. The purity of grief. The understanding that love yields grief and is worth it.
6. The intricacies and meditations of small tasks - chopping, sorting, digging, walking.
7.  Discovering that I am more capable than I feared. Remembering that fear is feeling like any other.
8. Remembering that I can make better choices. Making a bad choice and taking note of it so I can do better next time. Beckett had it right, though he may not agree with my context.*
9. Completion and knowing when to let go, whether a life, an art project, or a list.

I hope your year was full of gifts and that the coming year give you light, creativity and joy. May you notice the gifts when they are offered.

*Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.
 
(c)2009 Laura S. Packer

Ten things you can tell a story about

I regularly get one of two responses when I tell people I'm a storyteller. They either say, "You're a what? So you read to kids?" Or they say, "Cool! I could never do that."

To the first response I take a deep breath, smile and explain that, while reading to kids is great and important, I tell stories, mostly to grown-ups. The conversation can go in many different directions from there and, if I'm lucky, it leads to a really good discussion. It often does.

It's the second response that I love, because it gives me a chance to do a magic trick. Everyone is a storyteller; if you've read this blog before you already know that. You may not be a performing artist, you may never stand on a stage nor have any desire to, but we all tell stories. It's a crucial part of how people understand their lives and connect with others. The magic trick is helping someone see that the everyday communication they already engage in is really storytelling and how, if they wanted, they could expand on it and tell a more polished story.

All I do is this:

• I talk about storytelling as part of every day life
• Then I let the conversation move onto something else
• Within a few minutes I ask them a leading question and I listen to their response. I let them tell me a story. I listen with interest and maybe ask another question or two
• And then I thank them for telling me their story, mentioning something I enjoyed about the story.

At which point they realize it's a trick. Some people get embarrassed, but just about everyone is pleased. They did it. They told a story. They didn't die. Maybe next time it will be easier.

So what can you tell a story about, even if you don't think of yourself as a storyteller? Here are some suggestions for stories; these are all topics that can take a moment or an hour, none are the be-all and end-all of storytelling, nor is this list comprehensive.

• What was your best birthday ever?
• What did you want to be when you grew up? Why? If that didn't happen, what would life be like if it had?
• A time when you misheard something and what happened
• How was your drive today? How about yesterday? Anything interesting along the way?
• If you could have a superpower, what would it be? What are the implications of having a superpower?
• What's the farthest you've been from home?
• What could you give up? What couldn't you?
• What was your first car?
• Who is your hero? If you don't have one, make one up.
• What makes you happy?

I'd love to know what other topics you find useful, both as a teller and listener. Remember, the trick is that you are genuinely interested in what you're telling, so it must appeal to a broad audience and you must be interested in it. I don't generally recommend talking about the esoteric details of your job to someone you just met at a cocktail party (Unless they ask, of course). Please bear in mind, you could use these as writing prompts, but I'd urge you to take one of these and tell someone a story about it. See what happens when the words come from your mouth instead of your fingers. Have fun. Let me know how it turns out!

(c)2009 Laura S. Packer

Birthday presence

I love birthdays. It's important to have one day, every year, when you unequivocally say YES! I am HERE!

Today is my birthday, so here are 42 birthday presents and moments of presence, in no particular order and one for each year of my life. And yes, it's not lost on me that I am now the answer to life, the universe and everything.

1. The smell of autumn leaves, life out of decay.
2. My family in all their crazy, persistent, loving, nagging, wonderful selves.
3. I am surrounded by love
4. and the realization that love is not roses and puppies, but that love can be hard, smell like piss and is still infinitely valuable.
5. The rough hand of the bum as he seeks a moment of comfort and safety.
6. The warm, smooth sweetness of tea in my mouth, the comfort in my soul as I cradle the cup.
7. The shock as I took my first few breaths underwater, learning SCUBA. The realization that I wouldn't die, that my mermaid-self remembered.
8. The gift of listening, of letting go of myself and hearing another human being tell their story.
9. Touch. The feel of skin on skin, from the simplest touch to the most intimate contact.
10. The sound of wind in trees in all seasons, whether the whisper of new green buds, the gentle clapping of summer leaves or the chitter of bare branches scraping against each other.
    
11. The patience to see the world in many ways.
12. Salty, crunchy, sweet, savory, smooth, bitter, sour, umame. Rich and plain, chewy and subtle. All of the flavors, tastes and scents that inform my fingers, mouth, tongue and tummy.
13. Taking the time and thought to write this list.
14. Walking at a comfortable pace, moving through the world under my own power.
15. Stones large and small. Those worn to hand shape, great cliffs that tower above, gems that glitter and granite that holds its secrets tight.
16. And fossils that tell stories of life from impossibly long ago.
17. Living things. Dragonflies and octopi. Wolves and leopards. Goats and snails. Hawks and hummingbirds.
18. The gifts of the dead, their stories and memories. Ghosts and artifacts.
19. Playing with little kids who haven't yet learned to be self-conscious.
20. The calm distance in my body when I am engulfed in a good book.
21. Stretching, feeling my muscles and sinews move.
22. The smell of sauteing onions.
23. Singing out loud, without caring who hears.
24. The satisfaction of giving something away.
25. Laughing so hard I can't stand up or wet myself just a little. Knowing this will happen more often as I age.
26. The thrill of a crack of the thunder and lightening. Even when it's fearful.
27. Remembering to be compassionate.
28. Hope and the opportunity to hope again. The rejection letter, the failure, the missed parking space.
29. The changing weather. Cloudy days and fine. The cut of cold air, the weight of the summer.
30. Those sterling moments when I remember who I am, when I am at my best and most whole. Those moments are rarely when I expect them, so they keep me guessing and awake.
31. Surviving and thriving. Scarlet fever, cancer, childhood, adolescence, adolescents, driving, eating, loving, living.
32. Sleep, the comfort of waking warm and safe. Waking knowing there is more in front of me.
33. Sex. The delicious thrill of my own body and the bodies of others. Taste and scent and convulsion and more.
34. Dreaming, sensical and not. I love knowing my mind is creating even when I'm not really there.
35. Which leads me to that wonderful, deep sense of presence when I'm creating. Writing, art, telling, anything, when I create something I am here.
36. Regret. I try to live my life without regret, understanding that I make each choice the best I can in the moment, but those things I regret tell me so much about the world and how I want to move through it, that I can view it as nothing less than a gift.
37. Kites and wind-up toys and sharp kitchen knives and beautiful glass and evocative art and the right poem in the moment. All of these things make me stop and notice.
38. The perfect tool for the job, the one that fits in my hand and invites me to use it. This leads back to the act of creation and honest, hard work. Presence in the world.
39. The smell of metal and bread and rain and grass and snow.
40. My mother's scrambled egg sandwiches. My father's delight in showing me something new to him.
41. Deep breaths in fresh air.
42. Walking through this life, knowing that there is more to come. More work and laughter, more time (or not) and more hope. I think humans are creatures of story and of hope.

Thank you for reading this. I'd love to know if any of these are on your list of presents and presence, I'd love to read your list.

If you're interested in last year's list of things I'm grateful for, it's here.

(c) 2009 Laura S. Packer

On birthdays and gratitude

Today is my birthday. I love birthdays, I think it's a fine and important thing to have one day in the year when you unabashedly crow out your joy at being alive.

I am glad to be alive. I am grateful for my presence here on this Earth.

To mark my birthday I offer this up to the universe, a list of things I am grateful for, one for each year I have been on the planet. This is a bit of navel gazing, I know, but I think it is important to sometimes sing a praise song. Or, in this case, write a praise list..

1. I am grateful for my family, who, in spite of all the difficulties we have put each other through, love me and support me as best they can, and accept me in spite of knowing my flaws since birth. That's all anyone can ask for.
2. I am equally grateful for my chosen family, those friends who have stuck with me through thick and thin, whom I know will both be honest with me and will protect me. I would not make it through the tough times (let alone the good times) without them.
3. I am grateful for those who have loved me, regardless of the outcome of those relationships. Thank you for teaching me so much about love and redemption.
4. I am grateful for the love in my life today. My heart swells with emotion.
5. I am grateful for strength of my body, for my growing understanding of my own abilities and possibilities.
6. I am grateful for the sensual pleasures of living in my skin.
7. I am grateful for the way autumn air smells, crisp and bright with the knowledge of winter and hope of spring.
8. I am grateful for the gift of language, for writing, for the words that dance in my mind and on the page.
9. I am grateful for the stories I tell, how they fill my throat and sometimes I am surprised by what I hear myself saying.
10. I am grateful for every single listener.
11. I am grateful for books.
12. I am grateful for bicycles.
13. I am grateful for good food, for dumplings and crisp apples and nectarines and roasted chickens.
    
14. I am grateful for the smell of baking bread,
15. I am grateful for music, for the way it evokes so many different feelings.
16. I am grateful for sleep and the comfort of my bed.
17. I am grateful for dreams, even nightmares.
18. I am grateful for trees. I love trees.
19. I am grateful for the swell and crash of the ocean.
20. I am grateful for sunset and the knowledge that the sun will rise again.
21. I am grateful for the passage of time, for the hope that implies even if it means I may not be here to see the world continue.
22. I am grateful for my physical comforts. Let's not kid ourselves, if you are reading this, then you probably have the same comforts. We are lucky.
23. I am grateful for my ability to effect change in the world.
    
24. I am grateful for all the people who tell me their stories, whether in performance or in passing.
25. I am grateful for those moments that help me remember who I am.
26. I am grateful for medical care and insurance. Again, I am lucky.
27. I am grateful for baths.
28. I am grateful for black tea with milk and sugar.
29. I am grateful for bees.
30. I am grateful for the living things of this earth, even the ones that bite snd itch. Usually. And especially for dogs, dragonflies, otters and the like.
    
31. I am grateful for a sense of humor.
32. I am grateful for the good teachers I've been blessed with. Thank you.
33. I am grateful for you, for reading this whole list, for reading my blog, for being a silent presence I can write to.
34. I am grateful for the night sky, for thunderstorms, for breezes for patches of sunlight to doze in.
35. I am grateful for my ongoing curiosity about the world.
36. I am grateful for compassion, both shown to me and that which I exhibit. And especially those acts of compassion that taught me to be a compassionate person.
37. I am grateful for rocks.
38. I am grateful for the potential of this world, of this species.
39. I am grateful for the double edged sword of hope.
40. I am grateful for the freedom to chose my own path.
41. I am grateful for the world.

Thanks for reading; this was quick to write and I could have kept going, but this was enough. Happy birthday, whenever that may be. May the world smile upon you.

(c) 2008 Laura S. Packer

List: Nine things I know about flying

1. Every time I fly I bring stuff to read that I end up ignoring. Instead I build castles in the air, marvel at the endless sky, trace the land and ocean below. The world is so very big and I am so very small.
   
   
2. I love the way the world seen from above looks so tiny; the buildings, mountains and landscape shrink. It's only when you finally touch down that proper scale is again achieved. When we're flying it's hard to remember that we are the tiny specks when seen from below. Up in the sky we could be as big as clouds.
   
   
3. All I remember about the first time I ever flew was how utterly exquisite the clouds were. I was going to visit family in Michigan and was glued to the window, staring outside the whole time. My mother had prepped me, talked to me, told me not to be scared. How silly! I never thought to be frightened, only enchanted by the world outside.
   
   
4. I was on a flight recently seated next to a woman who was so scared. She had taken some kind of anti-anxiety medicine before boarding the plane and was still terrified. We chatted for the whole flight; when it was bumpy I held her hand. She asked me if I found flying scary and I told her that no, I didn't particularly, that I couldn't control it so it was a good exercise in letting go. She looked wistful and said she has control issues.
   
   
5. The old joke that ends with and boy are my arms tired always makes me wistful. If only I could fly as I do in my dreams. Airplanes are useful contraptions but make me feel like a virus inside a cell, just waiting to burst forth.
   
6. In my dreams I leap endlessly from rooftop to treetop to hill, as though I have seven league boots from a fairy tale. In my dreams I feel the wind on my face, my hair whips behind me, I am limitless. In my dreams I am free.
7. I listen to aquaintances wax rhapsodic about free fall, leaping from airplanes and the joy of just plummeting to earth, pulling the ripcord for the parachute only at the last minute. I listen to these stories and think that this isn't flight, it's falling.
8. I've heard flight described as controlled falling. Daedalus knew this, I think. Icarus certainly did. I imagine him, soaring up as high as he could to feel the sun on his face, then down low to smell the sweet, salty air. Of course he heard his father, urging him to be cautious, that too much glory was deadly. But he wanted to fly not merely for escape but for the utter joy and freedom, for the wind in his face, for the living moment. We all die, he thought. In this moment, let me live, with or without wings.
   
   
9. Icarus was right.

(c) 2008 Laura S. Packer

Another list

I kept looking at the title of the previous post and thinking But where's the B-list? So here's a list about why I like lists. A meta-list, as it were. (Maybe I can write about mentalists another time.)

1. They help me clarify my thinking. When I write a list I stop rushing and become a little more orderly, I can see the holes in my plans and logic and the places where my emotional responses are silly or overblown.

2. They give me a concrete plan of action. So I can't procrastinate as easily. I can't pretend I don't have anything better to do that watch another episode of.... And I'm less likely to forget a step or an important observation. They help me figure out what to do next and I can prioritize more easily. I know how much I've accomplished with a list.

3. I learn new things about myself. When I write a long enough list, such as those inspired by the lists of 100, I have to dig deep to come up with a complete set. Sometimes I surprise myself with my answers.

4. They help me remember to play. Because I can set limits on how much I need to do (cross x many things off the list) or I can write a list of playful things to try.

5. They help me move through the world. Because really, I tend to be fairly scattered in my thinking.

I'm not the only one who writes lists. Listography is a community devoted to list writers; there are many other list obsessed people out there. I'm not as dedicated as many of these folks are, but truly, it is a useful tool.

So, I dare you. Write some lists on wild topics, such as:
- 100 ways you can be kind to yourself
- the ten things you would really like to do next week that aren't work
- your 14 favorite colors and why
- the top three fictional villains and how you would dress if you were them
- seven topics you'd like to write a list about (I'd love to see this one).

You get the idea. Play. I'm list-ening.

(c) 2008 Laura S. Packer

A list

I was away for the last several days, camping again, far from internet and cell phone access. That's part of what I love about camping - the loudest sounds I hear are those I make or the birds. Admittedly, this camp is a pretty social place, with lots of chatter, but still, it's peaceful.

When I'm there I tend to dream big and remember my dreams; one in particular has stuck with me. I dreamt I was reading a guide to becoming more creative. This is something I long for and struggle with, it's part of why I write this blog. In my dream there was a list of ten things to do, designed to stretch boundaries and force creativity. I remember that I kept laughing (apparently I was laughing out loud as I slept) and thinking that radical change requires radical behavior. I only remembered a few of them, but I loved what I did remember and set about creating a really good list (good for me anyway). Here it is. You can try to guess which were in the dream and which I've come up with since. Or not.

1. Burn something inconsequential.
2. Ask someone if you can look in their wallet to see who they are. Ask them about pictures, receipts, notes, etc.
3. Throw away something you've kept for a long time.
4. Write down everything you wished you could be. Eat the list. Digest the dreams. Then let them go.
5. Steal something. Remember, theft doesn't have to be just about breaking the law.
6. Remember who you are. Throw your self a tiny party for one with a cake, flowers and love letter.
7. Give a gift to someone you don't like or to a stranger you see regularly (in your commute, at the grocery store, etc). Really try give them something they will love.
8. Go back to a place you've abandoned. Walk around, remember it. Take a piece of it back with you and then give it away to someone without explaining why.
9. Write a love letter or an apology that you've always wanted to say but never could. Leave it in a public place. Walk away.
10. Burn something you thought you could never give up. Watch the flames, then the embers. Enjoy their beauty.

(c) 2008 Laura S. Packer