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While that would be a terrible opening line for a film or short story, it fills me with dread and drama. Or is that excitement. Or maybe relief. I'm not sure which. So many reactions to that simple fact. Tomorrow, the movers come.
I'm undertaking this move for all of the right reasons. My beloved has an exciting new job, I will be launching full-time into my own work, we're moving forward together into the next new adventure. But right now, all I can think is Tomorrow the movers come. I will be uprooted.
It's a complex thing, putting down roots in a place. It means you become accustomed to the faces and tones, the geology and geography, the way the light plays across the trees, the smell of the air. It's intimate. I know the subtle cues of spring here, that the scent of the marsh is rich with life, not rotten. I know how to navigate my home in the dark. My body has adapted to these seasons, this light, those drivers and that fit of a key in a lock.
And tomorrow, with no uncertainty, I am going to uproot myself and search for fertile soil 1500 miles (almost) away.
I know, people do this every day and often over far greater distances.
I know, modern technology will make this so much easier than it would have been pre-internet, pre-telephone, pre-postal system.
I know all of these things.
And I know I am echoing the American expansion (or invasion, depending on how you look at it) that I am following in the time-compressed footsteps of those who came to America, to Massachusetts, in search of new vistas, then left the East coast in search of wide open spaces. I know I will come to love the prairie and plain, the rhythms of the new city, the people and faces and scents that will be revealed to me.
I know all of these things. I know I am lucky and that unexpected joys await me, that my love and I are doing this together, that this is the best choice for us both.
But for right now? I just know that tomorrow, the movers come.
(c)2012 Laura S. Packer
p.s. Please don't worry. I'm okay. Feeling uprooted is natural and to be expected. I'm looking forward to digging into new soil and finding out who I grow into there. It's just in this moment, in this jumble of boxes and recycling and confusion... it's a bit much.
Have a great move, Laura. I'll see you back here at your blog. I left you 37 hugs in the corner. Ray Bradbury said," All the time we jump off the cliff and grow our wings on the way down." You're growing your wings as you read this. All the Best, our Dear, dear, Friend.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tony. You and KR are so very dear to me. Your support is as deep as the ocean and much tastier. I look forward to continuing to share our adventures with each other. And dammit, I will find a way to get you guys out to KC!!
DeleteWhat a beautifully written post, Laura - and what a stunning, incredibly apt picture to go with it.
ReplyDeleteMay you be surrounded by grace and favor on the move, the settling in and the blossoming. May your roots in your new place go down deep, deep, deep so that indeed there will be an abundance of blossoming, and fruit in your new "land."
Blessings and a hug,
Geraldine
Thank you, Geraldine.
DeleteDear Laura,
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing more courageous than taking that step into the abyss. Who knows what will happen? How can anyone know?
There is also nothing more exciting than going down into that abyss knowing what you do not know and being open, and discovering the new life. new possibilities and new ways to have fun. And of course, YOU will find all of that.
So go on to that far away place Missouri! And when you make it home, it will become home for all of us back here in the East. Whew. That's the way we make our bridges. One friend at a time.
We will visit you and Kevin. We love you both.
Robin and Tom
Thank you, Robin. We look forward to your visit!
DeleteOnto bridge building...
Almost 10 years ago Bobbie experienced a job change that also included our home. The camp residence was a part of her pay package. So when the scouts cut back to sell the camp she lost her job and our home. We both moved from Howland Me to Portland. At the time we were excited nervous, scared and happy all at the same time. In Maine there is a term some folks call others that are from away. "Transplants" It is meant as negative term as if you are not as good as the locals. However I see it differently. I have lived in Maine most of my life. As a transplant to a different locationI have brought the good roots with me. My good roots of family, friends and memories allowed me to "take root"in southern Maine. Here we flourished in new ways with new friends and jobs to nourish us. My hope for you both is that your Kansas City transplantation is a huge success with deep roots and perennial blooms of New England memories. ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Vernon. I look forward to being a transplant, bringing my old self into new lands...
DeleteTomorrow the movers come! How scary! How exciting! I know one thing for sure you and k will be perfect! You've got a flock of angels watching over you! I love you, you'll be great!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Joy. I love you too!
DeleteGood Morning on your Moving Day!!
ReplyDeleteIn many ways moving is just like going through the grief process. There can be denial at first, "We don't really have to move do we?"; Anger/Anticipation, "I don't want to move but I am excited for the new adventure"; Bargaining, "Well if we do have to move than let's make these changes"; then after the move watch out for the depression, "Why did we have to move, I loved my life in (blank - or in your case Boston)"; and lastly acceptance, "Well, I guess it's not so bad".
If you look at it this way when those moods strike - usually without warning - at least you can recognize them for what they are and they in turn become easier to deal with without them completely derailing you. After nineteen moves I'm pretty much immune to all but the depression!! That one still sneaks up on me! :)
Have a wonderful moving day, stay calm and check the paperwork!!
Joanna
Thank you for these great tips, Joanna. I'm amazed at how quickly they packed up almost the whole house...
Deleteand the heads-up about moving=grief is great. It makes a lot of this make more sense.
Laura, In sharing with such immediacy and beauty, I could hear your voice and was reassured that you have Kevin, your voice, and your wonderful soul, so how could this move be anything but rejuvenating and luscious, providing new fertile ground from which new creations will be made - and flourish? I know you will keep us posted, and that's actually something for US to look forward to as you look forward to your new days and nights.
ReplyDeleteLove, and thanks for always being so very you. Bambi
Thank you, dear Bambi. I look forward to hearing about your ne adventures, too, as we all move forward. Love, Laura
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