50 for 50 day 35: Dear me, part 2

This is post 35 of 50, celebrating my 50th birthday. You can see the rest here.

Dear 25 year old Laura,

I know, it's not an easy time. It will get better. It will also get worse. But you will be okay. That's the thing to remember, you will be okay.

Right now it's hard to know that you are not the center of the universe. I can feel just how offended you are by that, loudly asserting that you already know this, but the coming years will underscore it again and again. It's okay, being in your 20s is all about thinking you know everything and learning that you don't, as well as thinking you are at the middle of everything and finding out you aren't. This isn't to say you don't matter or that you aren't important, but soon you will start to see just how much you don't know. This is a hard lesson but an important one. It's actually a gift, you'll get to let go of so much certainty, the world becomes easier to navigate.

Soon enough you will find your calling. You can feel it already, I know you can. I know it feels too scary to look at directly but you will and you will soar. You'll tell that first story and you will have no doubt. I remember.

Soon enough you will have to face your own mortality. You'll be okay. Let it change you. This, too, is a gift. It will set you on a path that will empower you more than you would imagine.

I suspect it would take you awhile to warm to who you are now, me, twice your age. I know so much less than you, I am so much more comfortable with uncertainty. I'm sure there would be disappointments in who you grew to be. I've not gotten to Morocco or Hong Kong or so many places. I've not published that best seller. But I'm still here. And you are, too, in a place of much greater peace than you might expect, all things considered.

If I could tell you one thing that might change things, I'd tell you to trust yourself. Your instincts are good and you are stronger than you might think, stronger than you fear. Don't dumb yourself down for anyone. You are amazing.

I love you.

Laura

This is what 50 looks like. Loving myself. Finally.

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