Some quick thoughts on mother's day

I'm not a big fan of holidays like mother's/father's/valentine's etc day. Their history suggests the modern interpretation is more about commerce than real affection and respect and, more than that, they are a great opportunity for exclusion. Those of us who are not conventional mothers struggle with this holiday.

That being said, I'm lucky, my mom is alive and we love each other. I called her today and told her I loved her, but I do that on other days too. I am grateful to my mom.

Today I also called the other mothers in my life, the women who have helped shape me into who I am, have mothered me through the ups and downs and trials of being human. I am grateful to them, too, because they chose to be here with me, without the obligation of biology.

Today I thought about those whom I have mothered, whether as a step-mother, a friend or chosen family. I am grateful for those relationships, for what they have taught me about the world. It's hard being a woman who hasn't mothered in the traditional ways, all of our models for womanhood include rearing children, but I know I have done the best I could. I love my step-kids, my chosen family and friends fiercely.

Because of my dislike for holidays like today, I suggest this: be grateful every day. Remember those who have gone out of their way to make sure the world is a little easier, that we are a little stronger, those who have been kind when it wasn't necessary. And let them know how much they mean to you every day, not just on mother's day.

(c)2013 Laura S. Packer